The Start

Here I am trying to remake my blog and myself at the same time. Well, not remake myself, but find myself. I feel like I am in a never ending fog of daily routine. I get up, take the kids where they need to go, work all day, pick up the kids, bathe, feed them and get them off to bed. After all of that it is quiet time for me and I get to sit and stare at the TV until late at night when my husband comes home. He is always in "the mood", so some nights I try to make time and get the energy up for him. Then I sleep. I wish it was a good sleep, but it isn't. I wake up a lot because I am a very light sleeper. Little noises wake me up, sometimes my kids wake me up. Sometimes I wake myself up just to go check on them. I have become so involved in worrying about my kids, that I can't enjoy myself or even have fun with the kids. I discovered that I hardly laugh any more. I use to love to read and knit and just enjoy things, but now I feel so empty inside. I don't like that feeling. This discovery of myself has lead me to finally look inside myself and try to find me again. to find Laura. I am not looking to go back, but to find something that will make me happy again.

I have decided to focus on a few different things to help me with my search. The first one is that I want to study a religion. I see lots of people that have a good strong strength because of their religion. I want that, and have wanted that for some time. I just never seemed to be able to fully commit. My husband is Muslim and I feel that a lot of my own personal beliefs follow that religion. He has talked to me about a few things, but he doesn't push his religion. He believes that if I really wanted it I would learn on my own. So, this is one thing I will start.

The second focus is built around the fact that I have always dreamed that I would live in a nice house after I was married and had kids. I would be an "at home mom" and have a fun time with the kids. Well, I don't have that. We live in a large three bedroom apartment which is very run down and in need of repair. I am hoping to remodel the inside of the place and make it my own. This would be done slowly, since we don't have much spare money, but I am hoping to make it better. Now, I know you are probably saying "how can you change your apartment?" Well lucky me, my Mom owns the building and let's us live there rent free. Of course she would love for us to fix the place up, so no need to get permission. Yes, rent free is great and we should have lots of money saved up, but I don't make much at my job, just to pay the bills and buy the food. My husband has two part-time jobs that help earn the little bit of extra that we use for emergency fixes.

My last thought for today's post is what got me started in this process. Recently I saw a preview for a new movie coming out called "Julie and Julia". I almost cried when I saw it. I said "that is me!" I know what Julie is feeling. Needless to say I am really looking forward to seeing the movie. I am planning to take the day off work and go see it at a nice new theater and really treat myself. I added the movie link with a count down to the release date. I will be counting the days myself. I hope that all who might read this will check the movie out too.

My day at work is almost done (I have been working on this blog on the side) I will soon be merging myself back into the daily routine fog by leaving here and picking up the kids. I hope to be back soon and do some more searching for Laura.

Layla's Blanket

Here's a picture of Layla on the heart blanket I made for her. I like how it turned out. The Baby Blanket with Embossed Hearts turned out pretty good, considering I used Lion Brand Vanna's Choice yarn and US 8 instead of the called for cotton yarn and US 10. I asked a friend to crochet a scallop edge to "frill" it up a bit. I think it helped the look of it. I didn't measure the size, but I can see it is much smaller then the pattern's finished size. Not surprising since I did use a smaller needle and yarn. I guess one of these days I am going to have to learn how to gauge my yarn. The yarn isn't too bad. It feels a bit ruff when it is new, but then you wash it and it gets super soft! I went with this yarn because I just don't have the money to buy the Muench/GGH Goa called for (9 skeins at $8.75 each!!).

Now I am working on a cute and easy pattern I found: Tribble. (see pattern link on side bar) I am very excited about this because I have so much left over cotton yarn from all the washcloths I have made. I didn't know what to do with it, and now I can use this pattern and make some great gifts! Unfortunately I also found a great book, so I have to choose what I am going to do.

Do I read or knit?

Now There Are Three!

Wow! Has it really been since June that I last wrote?! I guess I was a bit busy and my pregnancy really did a number on my knitting. It was only during the last two weeks before I was due that I felt like knitting and I was able to knit a little baby blanket for my newest girl, Layla. (Picture of blanket to come later)



I have been really tired adjusting to the new addition, but Layla is a great baby. So far she is very mild tempered and sleeps a lot. I don't know how long that will last, but it is great right now. I returned to work (boooooo! hissss!) on March 12. I am still trying to get use to the routine for that too. I don't have a lot of time or energy for knitting, but I am trying, as you see I'm back to my blog. I am working on a simple pink scarf for my oldest girl, but of course the weather here just got "summer time" hot. That won't last, but I am a bit late to make a warm scarf. Well, it is something to just get back into the flow again. I am going to have to stick to simple and quick projects for a while. I need to keep it simple or I won't get anything done! Maybe I can try knitting some more stuffed toys. I liked the bunny I did some time ago. I might look for more patterns like that. I might even try getting into socks again. (I never did knit those first socks) I will see how my time and knit cravings go.



Well it is nice to be back, but I don't know how often I will write, since projects will be to a bare minimum. I will do my best to at least sign in once a month or more if possible.

Hooray I'm baaaaack!

Surprise!

I have discovered why I am so tired. I am pregnant, again. This was not expected, but my husband and I will figure out the expenses and living arrangements.

I am now in the worst part....the first trimester. The queasy stomach, the complete exhaustion. With two other kids it is harder to handle. I think the worst is being so tired. It makes my mood flat and toneless. I also easy loose my temper. I miss being happy and laughing with the kids. Oh well, this will pass.

So, the funny thing about my pregnancies, that I discovered with my last one, is that I can't stand to knit or look at yarn! (oh the horror!) It only lasts as long as the first trimester and the illness (thank goodness!). Yarn colors make me queasy and knitting just seems an awful thing. So, needless to say, I will not be knitting anything for awhile. I will try to post, but being tired will keep me from staying up past my kids go to bed.

I like all those count down ticker bars on other blogs, so I will add one for this pregnancy. I don't have an official due date from the doctor yet, but I will guess at one.

Well, wish me luck everyone. I don't know how I am going to handle having two so close in age. Especially since my boy now is very active.

My kids! 8 months and 5 years.

Busy sleeping instead of knitting and blogging

I have been real tired lately, so when I get home and take care of the kids and put them to bed, I put myself to bed. I just can't seem to beat being tired. This is not good, since I have to finish up my bag for the Hogwarts Sock Kit Swap.

I recently mailed out my first swap package, (spring into summer dishcloth swap) and I was so excited about it that I forgot to add the note card with my name and all. I had to email Michelle , my swap pal, and let her know. She just received it today. Take a look at her blog to see pictures.

When I originally set up this blog, I had planned to keep it only about knitting. I realize now that I can't do that. I don't knit enough to keep myself interested in blogging and I could really use a place (journal) to have some personal time. I don't get much of that between work, kids and home. I don't know how I will handle it, but let's see how it goes.

I'll start a bit by saying I have a daughter, which I have shown a picture of in another post, and I have a new son. He is now just about 8 months. Very cute! (I will post a picture tomorrow). My daughter, Karima, is 5 and will soon be going to Kindergarten. I know I will cry!

It is getting late and I will be dead tired again in the morning. I better get myself to bed.

Busy Knitting Instead of Blogging

This post has been sitting in the edit for some time. I thought I would just add the new HSKS trivia to it. (really posted on 6/6/07)

Trivia:"Greatness inspires envy, envy engenders spite, spite spawns lies." Who says this? Voldemort

Missed this one:
Trivia - May 27 through June 2
Who are the two people speaking in this quote and what book is it from? Order of the Phoenix

"I'm not trying to say what she did was sensible. I'm just trying to make you see how she was feeling at the time." Hermione "You should write a book, translating mad things girls do so boys can understand them." Ron




It has been a while since I have blogged. My personal time is pretty limited and lately I have been using the time to catch up with my knitting projects. I am working hard on my HSKS bag. I couldn't seem to focus on any one pattern, so I am making it up as I go along. I wanted to show my work, but I don't want to spoil it for my swap partner, so I will just post a picture of the yarn I am using.





Black and yellow are not my favorite combination, but the project is turning out pretty good so far.


For some time now I have owed Chan and Shannon my answers to the "tag" game.


Each person tagged gives 7 random facts about themselves. Those tagged need to write in their blogs 7 facts, as well as the rules of the game. You need to tag seven others and list their names on your blog. You have to leave those you plan on tagging a note in their comments so they know that they have been tagged and to read your blog. Here are my facts:

1. My husband and I call each other "butthead". I know, it is a bit crazy but it works. We can use it in a fun sweet way and when we are annoyed.

2. I miss having a pet and my daughter wants a pet, but my husband is allergic to dogs and cats (and probably everything else). I have/had a dog, Jack Russell, but she is at my mom's house and has been for many years. She isn't really mine any more. I see so many cute little dogs and wish we could have one. A toy poodle or dachshund. I grew up with two miniature poodles and I use to dress them in my clothes and we would have a tea party.

3. I am diabetic (type 2) and have low thyroid. I got all this after my first child (daughter) was born. I still eat sweets because I can't resist, especially dark chocolate!

4. I love to read and used to collect first editions. Now I spend the money on yarn instead of books.

5. I have a tattoo on my lower back. It is the astrological sign for a Taurus circled by a wreath of leaves.

6. My favorite treat is Starbucks Double Chocolate Chip Frappuccino® Blended Crème, full of fat and sugar, but yummy! This is my alternative to ice cream.

7. I'm going to knit socks for Sockapalooza4, but I have never knitted socks before. As the dead line gets closer I keep wondering why I joined the swap! (A little freaking here)